SHOOTOUT AT THE LAWN BOY CORRAL

Sometimes I think strangeness is just a part of everyday life here in Milwaukee. That was confirmed for me some months back when a New Berlin cook at a Texas Roadhouse restaurant decided it would be a good idea to stuff pubic hairs into a new steak ordered for a customer who had been dissatisfied with the way the first one had been cooked. And it has been confirmed for me once more as I read this morning about a Milwaukee man, 56-year old Keith Welendowski, who was arrested a couple of days ago for shooting his Lawn Boy lawn mower because it wouldn't start.

Now this is by no means to suggest that I've never taken to considering similar tactics be employed on a flawed piece of equipment in my time. I can remember trying to start my little Toro snow blower in the middle of a blizzard, priming and pulling the cord, priming and pulling the cord, all to no avail, until finally I threw it across the garage screaming "Well, what the hell good is it?" All I got out of it was a blister and a terse look from my wife.

"Well," she said, shaking her head in disbelief. "Now that accomplished a lot."

Yeah, but it did feel good nonetheless, even if the wife was right. Indeed, it accomplished nothing at all.

Welendowski was trying to start his mower, and when it would not start, went into the house, brought out a shotgun, and fired a round into it. Someone from inside the Welendowski's home called police and reported the incident.

According to the complaint, Welendowski told police that "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want." The report also says he had been drinking at the time.

Now the man faces up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted of the charges of felony possession of a short-barrelled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed.