Have You Ever Eaten a Tuck's Pad?

When you write a novel called, "Great Expectations," it almost most certainly has to be good, because the title alone has already suggested to the reader it will be.

When it comes to food, most of the time when you see a picture presented of something you order or buy, you know there's going to be at least some sense of glorification, and what winds up on your plate will not exactly resemble what was advertised.

But it's still usually relatively close. It's still relatively good. You can still relatively accept it for what it really is.

That was proven to be far from the case when I decided on a Banquet homestyle gravy and sliced white meat turkey meal as a quick dinner. 

I swear, that Banquet gravy and sliced white meat turkey meal got more laughs than the funniest comedian to ever grace the stage at the Improv could ever hope for. Not that our meal was the joke of the century, but it sure packed one hell of a punch line to our plates.

Granted, it's not like I was expecting something gourmet. It's a frozen meal, of course, and just like when you order a steak at Denny's, you're not looking for something 5-star when it arrives. But what I was expecting were at the very least, 12 slices of decently portioned turkey.

From the picture, you'd have expected that there would have been nice sized pieces to serve up. Instead, you literally had to fish out the slices in a lake of gravy. In fact, of the supposed 26 ounces shown on the package, I am certain it was about 20 ounces of gravy and 6 ounces of actual meat, although I cannot verify that since I did not actually weigh the slices.

As for the actual size of the slices themselves? I am not kidding at all when I say that they were only slightly larger than a Tuck's pad.

I mean, in the box's picture, you'd think you were going to get a heaping plate of at least something remotely worth eating. It is not an exaggeration at all to suggest that the plate they used was, in fact, a tea saucer.

The box stated, "Enlarged to show quality." What did they use? The Hubble space telescope?

Sure, the box is going to be the thing that makes the sale in the first place just like the title, cover and back cover blurb on a novel will put a book on your reading list. But if the goods delivered don't match the sales pitch, it doesn't mean someone will buy it again—or read the book over again thinking maybe you just missed the point the first time around.

Embellishment is one thing, such as that juicy, well-crafted hamburger on the menu looks like that you know will never be served to you. But where's the line between embellishment and outright false advertising? Because, at least when it comes to this Banquet offering, that's clearly what it is. 

Either way, the bottom line for me is that it matters enough to me that I won't be buying this product again. And Banquet ought to be ashamed of themselves on this one. 

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