All about Tom Brady's Balls

With all of this hoopla surrounding Tom Brady's balls, I decided to sit down with Brady before the Super Bowl to discuss the whole debacle of his balls. He was very kind to sit with me for this interview, and his time was well appreciated.

JB: So Tom, what's your take on all of this sudden media interest in your balls?

TB: Well Jim, I think it's a bit hyped. But certainly there has been plenty of other interest in my balls. It surprises me it took this long for more people to want to know. When it comes to being a quarterback in the NFL, it really is, and always has been about the quarterback's balls.

JB: Are you particularly partial to your balls?

TB: Oh yes. Like I said, for a quarterback your balls are very important, and how your balls feel on any given day really can be a game changer. I tend to spend a lot of time with my balls before each and every game, touching them, squeezing them, feeling them all around.

JB: Do you have any help in this task?

TB: All quarterbacks have an equipment team who have an intimate knowledge of how a quarterback prefers for his balls to feel. Before the game in question, and really before any game my equipment team spends quite a lot of time feeling my balls for firmness or softness. If my balls don't quite feel right, I give them solid direction on how to make my balls feel better, and they are very good at solving any problems I may encounter with my balls.

JB: Must be nice to have such a great team of people working your balls?

TB: Oh it sure is. When you've got your balls handled, it really helps to relieve some of the pressure a quarterback feels before a game. Especially an important game.

JB: So, were you comfortable that your balls were in tip top shape on the game day that started all of this hoopla?

TB: I am confident that there was nothing wrong with my balls before we got onto the field. I and my equipment team spent a lot time with my balls, and I had every bit of confidence that my balls were perfectly fine before the game started. But like anything to do with your balls, weather can certainly impact how they wind up. It was very cold that day, and that could have well had some impact on causing some shrinkage of my balls.

JB: So there was no manipulation of your balls at all?

TB: Not hardly. There are regulations on ball firmness, and we were within those regulations. What happens to my balls as a result of other factors is entirely beyond my control. Sometimes your balls just do what they want to do. There is only so much you can control. That being said, my balls were constantly checked throughout the game, and again, I had every bit of confidence based on everyone's input that my balls were just fine throughout.

JB: Do you feel that it might be a step backward if more focus is placed on yours, or anyone else's balls in the NFL as a result of this debacle?

TB: Not at all. If it's good for the game, then it's good for the fans, and certainly good for the players. Having a few more people with their hands on my balls is only going to improve the situation for us all. And if it helps to relieve questions about my balls, or anyone's balls in general? Why then, I think that's great for the NFL.

JB: Well thanks for your time. It is appreciated. Of course I have to ask if you have spent considerable time with your balls today before the big game?

TB: Oh, you bet I have. And believe me when I tell you more people have handled my balls today than any other time since I began playing football. I don't mind at all if it supports the idea that we are playing a fair game, and if we win, that it not because of any problem with my balls. It feels fantastic that my balls are very well taken care of.

I thanked him, we shook hands, and he nodded and went off to ready himself. He did not bring out any of his balls for the interview for me to handle. There's probably rules about that anyway so it was no matter.